The 5 Love Languages book has sold over 20 million copies! There is obviously something special about these principles. My guest Paul Zolman has come up with an innovative way to share The 5 Love Languages by playing a simple game. Using this method Paul got over a 30-year problem with anger.
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Short on time? Read a 4-minute summary of our conversation below.
Episode Summary:
Host David Sandstrom talks with guest Paul Zolman, a best selling author and “love language linguist” who has developed an innovative way to share love languages and strengthen relationships.
Paul describes growing up in an abusive and angry household with 11 children. He felt singled out for harsh punishments and was often confused about what he did wrong. At 17, Paul moved in with his brother and recognized similar patterns of building up annoyance that led to angry outbursts.
At 35, after his first marriage ended, Paul realized he was still blaming his father who had been dead for 7 years. He knew he needed to take responsibility for his own life and reactions. David shares an analogy about removing the log from your own eye before removing the speck from your brother's eye. We can't change other people, only ourselves.
Paul read Gary Chapman's The Five Love Languages and created a cube with each love language on a side - gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service, and physical touch. He rolls the cube each morning and focuses on expressing that love language to others all day. This helps develop the habit of sharing love.
Paul is testing his cube method in grades K-6. Students roll the cube, note opportunities to express that love language during the day, and journal about it at the end of the day. This builds personal responsibility. The daily journal becomes a record of sharing love they can cherish.
Sharing love languages can transform company culture and improve retention, customer service, and sales. Leaders should ensure employees feel valued. One employee sharing love at Walmart became very popular with customers. Leading by example can spread kindness.
At the Last Supper, Jesus disciples asked "Lord, is it I?" about his impending betrayal. Regularly asking this question helps us take responsibility for our relationships.
Love is not transactional. We must give love freely, not with expectation of getting something in return. Love has to be given away to be complete.
Paul explains the meaning of "Namaste" - seeing the divine in another person. We should actively watch for the good in others every day.
Loving consistently takes a lifetime of practice. This cube provides purpose and themes each day to let your light shine.
David emphasizes this is not just a weekend workshop, but a lifetime practice. Small acts of kindness can transform relationships. Paul concludes we all should be sharing love.
